Dynamic Communication Opens Doors to Opportunity. Woman energetically speaking to others.

Cut Filler for Dynamic Communication!

Dynamic communication – written and oral – is key in championing a product, service, cause, and yourself. Filler text desiccates your message; undermines your credibility; and causes people to disengage, deafened to your message. In short, communication opens doors to opportunity … and slams them. To open those doors, purge:

  • Filler words or sounds. Utterances such as you know, if you will, like, So …., well …, and ummm impede an audience’s ability to follow your thoughts and are especially distracting when peppered throughout your communique.
  • Useless words, words that hog space, and redundancies. My readers will recognize these Word Sculpting Tools from “Write to Influence!” Applying them tightens your text – and conversation – affording additional opportunity to make your case. (See the challenge below). 
  • Weak Speak. Words such as perhaps, I feel, I wish, I’ll try, kind of,and sort of imply hesitation, partial commitment, or a lack of confidence. They weaken your position and can torpedo opportunity. Instead, speak with assurance.  During a job interview, for example, send a powerful message with, I’m confident that, My track record shows, and My goal is.
  • Inappropriate, colloquial jargon. We often fail to edit our text – or think before we speak– resulting in an articulation ill-suited for the audience. Consider this from an application for a graduate-level scholarship (a highly competitive process), “As a father of four kids and racking up debt, I can really use this scholarship.” He was not selected!

Excerpts from business solicitations below contain filler text. They. are actual, not fabricated, I address two categories: television commercials and “cold-call” marketing via email.

Television commercials. Companies such as Verizon, Progressive, and Jeep set the standard for brilliant use of airtime, maximizing the value of every syllable. Other companies, however … Well, here’s how NOT to do it:

  • Beauty product … “They would say …like … you’re glowing and I’d be … like … really?”
  • Beauty product … “What do I think about this product? Oh, my goodness, words I can’t even say on television [nervous giggle] … it’s great.”
  • Hair product … “My hair was bald …” (Hair is not bald. A scalp can be bald, someone can become bald)
  • Weight loss product … “This is made with real ingredients and is risk free.”
  • Dental product … “We have to be able to repair enamel on a daily basis …”
  • Insurance … “I’m spending money I don’t have to spend.” (Revise to “I’m spending money unnecessarily”)

 Email solicitation: I received this from a company hoping to market my book and publish subsequent ones. Would you entrust your work to this agency?

Challenge! Apply these Word Sculpting Tools to identify instances of atrocious writing. My list Dirty Dozen – Most Frequent Errors in Professional Communication also applies here, specifically Item #12 (Write as You Speak). My analysis is at the bottom of this page. Good luck!

  • Redundancy: Once Will Suffice
  • Shorter Is Better: Don’t Hog Space (multiple words in lieu of one and passive voice)
  • Useless Words: Find, Chisel, Discard
  • Verbs Are Your Friends: Rely on Them (find the core verb, expunge excess text)
  • Gibberish: Avoid, It’s Confusing (specifically, unnecessary information)
  • Final Steps: Revise, Edit, and Proofread (many grammatical errors here)

Before:  Your published book has been forwarded to us by Amazon who distributes your book across America and the rest of the world and it is chosen for a republishing opportunity here at XXX Publishing. Having said that, Amazon saw potentials on your book not just based on your credentials and credibility but because of the books quality.

We are also willing to partly invest on your book so you won’t have to worry that much. However, those interested in your book have some concerns about your book being expensive, price wise, making it difficult for bookstores to see benefits in buying and selling it.

Almost all printers in the US would confirm that the cost of printing your book is far too low compared to the retail price set by your publisher which is so much for the buyers to handle.

Luckily, you are one of the 10 authors we select for republication every year wherein we will shoulder 50% of the publishing investment that will also be applied to your future books you will publish with us here in XXX Publishing.

After: We are impressed with your credentials and the quality of your book, which Amazon forwarded to us, and see great potential for republication with our company. In fact, you are one of only 10 authors we selected this year for that opportunity. At issue is the cost of printing your book, which reduces the profit margin thus discouraging bookstores from carrying it. Therefore, we propose to pay 50% of the publishing cost … [That’s as far as I could develop this After version, considering the antecedent is so poorly written!]

Analysis:

  • Grammatical errors – 1. Amazon is not a “who,” 2. … and it is chosen is a run on sentence, 3. potentials should not be plural, 4. on your book should be for your book, 5. books quality should be possessive, 6. invest on your book should be in your book. Can you find others?
  • Redundancy: Once Will Suffice – book 9 times; print 2 times, publish 6 times published/book – Amazon wouldn’t forward anything unpublished [and didn’t forward mine, either – just to be clear!], expensive/price wise, bookstores/buying and selling
  • Shorter Is Better: Don’t Hog Space (multiple words in lieu of one and passive voice) – across America and the rest of the world = globally and 3 instances of passive voice
  • Useless Words: Find, Chisel, Discard – Having said that, not just based on … but because of = due to
  • Don’t Write as You Speak – so you won’t have to worry that much
  • Verbs Are Your Friends: Rely on Them (find the core verb, expunge excess text) – have some concerns = are concerned, to see benefits = to benefit … or better … to profit
  • Gibberish: Avoid, It’s Confusing (specifically, unnecessary information) – I know my book’s distribution, so that information is unnecessary
  • Final Steps: Revise, Edit, and Proofread – 6 errors

Your published book has been forwarded to us by Amazon who distributes your book across America and the rest of the world and it is chosen for a republishing opportunity here at XXX. Having said that, Amazon saw potentials on your book not just based on your credentials and credibility but because of the books quality.

We are also willing to partly invest on your book so you won’t have to worry that much. However, those interested in your book have some concerns about your book being expensive, price wise, making it difficult for bookstores to see benefits in buying and selling it. Almost all printers in US would confirm that the cost of printing your book is far too low compared to the retail price set by your publisher which is so much for the buyers to handle.

Luckily, you are one of the 10 authors we select for republication every year wherein we will shoulder 50% of the publishing investment that will also be applied to your future books you will publish with us here in XXXX.

In conclusion, dynamic communication is “clean as bone, clear as light, solid as stone.*” Who uttered those words? Angela Lansbury as Jessica B. Fletcher, novelist in the fictional TV series, “Murder She Wrote.” She’s right! My descriptors for powerful writing — clear, concise, and compelling.

* Asyndeton – a literary device. Deliberately omitting conjunctions between successive clauses to produce an abrupt series of phrases that energetically advance ideas.